„Senki sem tanít meg arra, hogyan szeress egy olyan gyereket, akit nem akartál”

"Senki sem tud téged felkészíteni arra az érzelmi hullámvasútra, amit egy olyan gyerek hoz az életedbe, akivel egyáltalán nem akartál teherbe esni" - kezdi meglehetősen terjedelmes Instagram-posztját a 23 éves dúla, Olivyah Bowens. A fiatal kétgyerekes anyuka azután határozta el, hogy saját nehézségeiről ír, hogy - elmondása szerint - megunta azt a sok szemetet, amit gyereknevelés témában a neten olvasott.

"A helyzet akkor lesz igazán bonyolult, mikor a gyereked a dackorszakba lép, és a hisztik egész konkrétan az agyadra mennek. Az én lányom most épp ebben a korban van, ez pedig rákényszerített, hogy számot vessek az érzéseimmel, és belássam, egyáltalán nem élvezem mindig, minden percben a tényt, hogy Ozara anyukája vagyok."

No one teaches you how to love a child you didn't plan to have. No one shows you how to traverse the emotional complexity of loving a child you weren't happy about being pregnant with. It's even more difficult at those times when they're having tantrums and pushing you to a point of emotional exhaustion. ... It's confusing. When the same people who told you that you pretty much ruined your life are smiling ear to ear at your baby shower a few months later. It's hard.. Looking at a beautiful baby and being bogged down by the thoughts of how you will take care of them and how much life will change. It's so easy.. To project the pain of your wounded inner child onto your baby. It is the lethal cycle of undealth with trauma. ... This stage of motherhood has forced me to look at my reflection in my daughter's eyes and realize that no I don't enjoy being a mother all the time, but this child has been the catalyst for major growth. She is the mirror that allows me to look into my past and see the fears still controlling me now. ... When we heal our deepest pains we are speaking to our ancestors across the space time illusion and holding a cross-generational conversation within our dna that heals old wounds and rectifies long lost problems. Motherhood hasn't just healed me it's healed the mother's that came before me. ... The reality is I don't want to be a mother everyday. I don't want to feel held back from chasing my dreams and goals. I don't want to be exhausted. But I KNOW this little girl has brought me face to face with things that would have otherwise been ignored in my bubble of childless freedom. ... Dear mama, who is going through an unplanned pregnancy, don't feel guilty, don't feel afraid, don't feel ashamed. That baby chose YOU to be it's mothers at the perfect time. Surrender to the journey of unpredictability and let this new being show you a whole new part of yourself you didn't know was there.

❤ ÉRTÉKELD A MUNKÁNKAT EGY LÁJKKAL, ÉS OSZD MEG MÁSOKKAL IS! KÖSZÖNJÜK!

Megosztás

SZÓLJ HOZZÁ